Delaware.

Delaware E-ZPass, I’m lookin’ at you.

Yeah, you.

(Except Alexis at the Delaware E-ZPass customer service line.
She’s funny and cool.)

AND PA-EZPass…but I digress.

As you may know, we’re in the process of moving from VA to PA, and this has included a lot of driving up and back. Driving on the East Coast means toll roads and that means—if you’re going to try to make it easy on yourself—you have to get an E-ZPass-auto-reloading-toll-paying-tag for your windshield.

We have had one for years—a Pennsylvania E-ZPass (prophetic?)—and never had a spot of trouble.

Until this March.

The last week of March we got a snail-mailed notice from Delaware of a “toll violation”. This means we went through an E-ZPass toll lane without enough money on our tag—and without enough money in our bank account to cover the re-load.

The tolls ($4 each way) totaled only $8.

The fines were $25—each way!

My first thought was “WTH!? That thing has been set on autoload forever. I haven’t gotten a new debit card or anything… what gives??”

The same day I received a snail-mailed toll fine from the Pennsylvania toll system!

So.

I went online and found that, yes, the day the tag tried to reload was the day All The Money for the first-month/last-month/security payments for the house in PA was pulled from our account.

Bad timing. Sure.

Then I noticed that PA E-ZPass tried to reload again the next day, but to no avail. I hadn’t been checking my account. After the set up—years ago—I never needed to check (unless I got a new debit card). The month in question—thinking my budget was spot-on and that all was covered and shiny and happy—it never occurred to me I’d need to check! But the few dollars that were actually in my account that day didn’t cover the reload (and my bank is very wonky when it comes to overdraft protection, so…).

At that point, PA E-ZPass put my tag into a “suspended state”.

Once I was made aware of the problem via snail-mail —weeks later, mind you, and only via the toll violation letter, NOT from a “suspended state” letter— I was curious to see how I could have missed the warning notice that must have arrived in my email. I dug and dug through my inbox, junk mail, and archives, looking for an email regarding our account (because having loaded All The Personal Info into the PA E-ZPass webpage lo’ those many years ago, certainly they must utilize ways other than snail-mail to contact customers in rather emergent situations like this!).

Nothing there.

Nothing.

So, I decided it was worth blowing an hour on hold (God Bless earbud/mics and portable phones). I called PA E-ZPass to find out when I should have received my email alerting me that I needed to IMMEDIATELY ADD FUNDS and further, What Could Be Done in the aftermath of not noticing said email.

“We don’t send emails,” said the voice.

“Umm… so how am I supposed to know that there’s a problem with my account?”

“You’re supposed to regularly check your account online.”

“Umm… wait. So a thing going wrong with my account, a thing that could happen at any moment without warning, that kind of thing I would just… need to get lucky and happen to be looking at my account online right then, or… I, what? I just need to be psychic?”

Silence.

Then: “That would help.”

She did kindly reverse the fine on the PA side of things (because her-feeling bad; me not-psychic) and we got my account back up and running.

Then I called Delaware and asked pretty much the same things—PA didn’t inform me until the same day I received your fine in the mail. What am I’m supposed to do—what with not being psychic and all?

I had already written them a check for the $8 in tolls (I clearly owed them that) but I’d be blown if I was going to send along another FIFTY DOLLARS for something that I couldn’t possibly have known about, and without knowing, I couldn’t have fixed.

The Awesome Aforementioned Alexis cracked up at the “PA just needed me to be psychic, and all… and I’m not…” and said I was welcome to try appealing the fine. She added that she was baffled by PA—Delaware E-ZPass sends email blasts whenever an account hits the skids.

She also said that I shouldn’t hope too much for a fine reversal.

She was right.

But I hung up with her and sent Delaware E-ZPass a charming letter, including the check for $8, owning the toll fees, and explaining that—what with not being psychic and what with PA not having a system as good and up to date as DE’s I was really rather stuck—and I didn’t think I should be held at fault for not being psychic… I mean, were they psychic? They didn’t seem to expect that of their customers.

It was a kind letter. It wasn’t at all the nasty letter I could have written. It was a “look, we all know that PA blew this one. We can all roll our eyes in their general direction and move on. We also know I owe you for the tolls. Hows about you take my 8 bucks and we call it a day?”

I received back EXACTLY the same forms as before with an additional letter attached saying: We got your note. Phbbbbt. Pay up, Bub.

And so I say FOR SHAME, Delaware!

Punish me for not being a PA E-ZPass-mind-reader? Really? Is that fair?

Was I mean?

Was I nasty?

Was I TRYING to free-load my way through your toll gate?

No. Alexis—even though she warned me otherwise—gave me hope that everyone working for the Delaware E-ZPass system was kind and funny and smart.  Someone who understood the difference between the letter of the law (pay up!) and the spirit of the law (These fines are supposed to be deterrents. This is the first fine you’ve have EVER received. You’re not a recidivist toll-hopper. You don’t need to be deterred; you just need to become psychic).

Clearly, Alexis is a step above.

I hope she’s found someone to eat lunch with, because if the rest of them are drones like the ones who sent the Pay Up letter, then she’s going to be awfully bored at break time.

PA should be ashamed, too, but at least they reversed the fine.

And now?

Now I’m sending PA the bill (oh, and the one I got last week from Maryland. Their fee? Just the toll. Wanna bet that when they see that some poor schmo has a PA E-Zpass account they know… they just know… and they have mercy).

But not you, Delaware.

Not you.

For shame.