{"id":2109,"date":"2012-08-12T15:00:51","date_gmt":"2012-08-12T20:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crafting-a-life.com\/mamaoknits\/?p=2109"},"modified":"2012-08-12T20:19:33","modified_gmt":"2012-08-13T01:19:33","slug":"god-arrived-in-a-giant-white-four-door-pickup","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crafting-a-life.com\/mamaoknits\/god-arrived-in-a-giant-white-four-door-pickup\/","title":{"rendered":"God Arrived in a Giant, White, Four-door Pickup"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Actually, not so much God, but a guy who <em>thought<\/em> he was. <\/p>\n<p>In reality, he was Jordan Baker.<\/p>\n<p>He cut across three aisles of parking lot with nary a glance to the side and were it not for my brakes, he would now be paying for my funeral. <\/p>\n<p>I had a rare opportunity&#8211;rare for me when it comes to people like him&#8211;where I said, &#8220;you know, we were THAT close when you cut across without looking&#8221;. <\/p>\n<p>He smiled and said, &#8220;good thing you have good breaks, then,&#8221; and sauntered off. <\/p>\n<p>All hail Jordan Baker, brought to life here in Virginia. <\/p>\n<p>Where&#8217;s my passport?<br \/>\nAs I sit here&#8211;knitting desperately to try to finish by the closing ceremonies&#8211;I&#8217;m next to the heavy, bitchy, chain smoking woman who actually just said on the phone, &#8220;because, honey, money talks and bullshit walks so put me on the pre-announcement list and shut the f*** up.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>I want to switch countries.<\/p>\n<p>There have to be other, better, places with knitters where we could live and find work, right?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Actually, not so much God, but a guy who thought he was. In reality, he was Jordan Baker. He cut across three aisles of parking lot with nary a glance to the side and were it not for my brakes, he would now be paying for my funeral. I had a rare opportunity&#8211;rare for me [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,65],"tags":[332,333],"class_list":["post-2109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog-fun","category-writing","tag-gatsby","tag-jerks"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crafting-a-life.com\/mamaoknits\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2109","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crafting-a-life.com\/mamaoknits\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crafting-a-life.com\/mamaoknits\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crafting-a-life.com\/mamaoknits\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crafting-a-life.com\/mamaoknits\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2109"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/crafting-a-life.com\/mamaoknits\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2109\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2113,"href":"https:\/\/crafting-a-life.com\/mamaoknits\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2109\/revisions\/2113"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crafting-a-life.com\/mamaoknits\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2109"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crafting-a-life.com\/mamaoknits\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2109"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crafting-a-life.com\/mamaoknits\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2109"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}